Three Fears. Three Answers.

I've been thinking about fears and doubts quite a lot lately. I've made a decision to start a project that really challenges me to stretch my boundaries of comfort, that on the daily puts me face to face with my own insecurities. In the past, when these insecurities have cropped up, my reaction has been to take cover and get quiet; to hibernate until the dust settles, and I can go back to what's familiar and comfortable. 

I know you know what I'm talking about. We all know this dance well, though our steps may vary; we all know the allure of the glow on the horizon, calling us to do more with our one life; we all know the path towards that horizon starts off with eager tread, only to grow murky and tedious with time. We've all started out with an adventurous heart, only to turn back when that heart grows weary.  

I think it's one of the hardest and most beautiful things about being human, this dance between what could be and what is.  

But after awhile, and after these false starts begin to stack up, you begin to long for one of those starts to actually stick.  

It would be nice to know that with time, the doubts and fears that keep us from expanding will disappear. Maybe for some, they do. For me, though, and for many, what we come to acknowledge is this: Our fears are never truly going to leave us. They are a part of us, and in their own way, they have a job to do--to remind us of our mortality, our humility; to help us connect with other beings with true empathy. 

I believe they're with us for another reason, too: To invite us not to listen to them. To test our spirit and our determination.  

So how do we answer those fears? What armor can we wear to help us along our journey towards the bigger life? 

First, I believe, we must name them. Light is a powerful force, just take it from Albus Dumbledore: "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." 

My fears, summed up neatly into three simple phrases are these: 

1) What will they think of me?          

2) But I'm nothing special.          

3) What will happen if I_______? 

And here, since I've also promised you answers, is the armor I'm trying to wear against these fears: 

1) Make your life your own. When you don't take action or speak from your heart because you're worried what people will think of you, you are giving someone else control over your life. You are essentially saying: "what you think is more important than what I think." (Not to mention, how do you KNOW what they think?) 

2) There are no new stories. This I believe. Yes, pretty much every story has been written already. But, as countless entrepreneurs and authors will tell you: It hasn't been written by YOU. Your book about vampires has never been written. Your blog about fitness has never been created before. All of these ideas I'm presenting here? I've gleaned them from hundreds of hours spent reading and listening to and thinking about the ideas of others! BUT, they have never been expressed through my voice before--until now, that is. There are no new stories. There are billions of new voices -- and yours is one of them; let us hear it.

3) You've got to decide, every moment.These days, I'm proud to say that I have NOT overcome my fears. They are still with me, often large and in-charge. What's different is that I'm deciding, more and more frequently, to NOT LISTEN TO MY FEAR. This doesn't mean that I ignore my fear; hearing and listening are two very different actions. Yes, I hear my fears. No, I don't always listen to them and do what they want me to do. Is this choice uncomfortable? Hell. Yes. Do I often have a 'what-are-they-thinking-of-me' hangover? Yes.

But my life feels bigger. It feels more honest. And that makes it worth it.

Thanks for reading. 

Over to you: Do you have reliable armor that helps you navigate life despite being afraid? Share your thoughts below! I'd love to hear your story.