From TODAY to NEW. (A Halfway Point Check-In.)

It’s hard to believe that we’re already past the ‘halfway’ point of the year. Around this time, I usually find myself forgetting what my One Word Theme of the year was, and looking back a bit regretfully at the list of goals I set for myself way back in January (which feels like a very long time ago frankly). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with changing your mind, but I’m something of a chronic mind-changer, and so I might need to engage in a small amount of healthy self-discipline and reflection, just to get back on track, but also, to focus on where I’d like to go.

In January, I decided that my Word of the Year was going to be TODAY. I wrote a whole blog post all about why I chose this word, but these days, this word hasn’t really been resonating with me. Back in January, I was smack-dab in the middle of one of the most challenging school years of my life so far, figuring out how to balance work and new motherhood while quite sleep-deprived most days. In a nutshell, the word TODAY was all about recognizing that some days were going to be really hard, but some days were going to be really good, and that was okay. Of course, this see-saw effect is generally true no matter what your life looks like, but motherhood has taught me a whole new meaning of the word ‘change’ that I was struggling to accept back in January. While I am going to hold onto the word TODAY for the rest of the year, and remember its significance in my life, I’m also going to embrace a different word as well: It’s the word NEW.

One thing that I tend to do when I’m feeling tired or overwhelmed, is to gravitate towards consuming all things familiar. I re-read books from childhood, re-watch sitcoms I’ve seen before, re-listen to my favorite podcasts. In short, I don’t really feel like challenging myself to read, watch, or listen to something new. Now, some seasons in life call for great heaps of comfort. But if I’m not careful, I’ll go into numbing mode instead of comfort mode, and life is too precious to waste on things that have been consumed a thousand times before. I have to physically push myself to pick up that new novel I’ve been curious about, to push play on that podcast that will teach me something new, to watch the show that everyone is loving. When I do challenge myself to do this, to choose the NEW thing, I feel a shift in my spirit: She is waking up.

I don’t want to spend my life with a comfortable but dull spirit. So, for the remainder of this year, I’m going to seek out what’s NEW, specifically when it comes to reading and listening to podcasts. But I also want to try new recipes, go to new places in my hometown, and try new workout routines. It’s likely going to be a daily challenge, but the daily choices are truly the ones that have the greatest impact over time.

Here are two “new” things that have brought me some joy lately:

The Sun is Also a Star, by Nicola Yoon. (A completely beautiful, heartbreaking, redemptive book. On the surface, this is a romantic love story, but I think it’s actually about the danger of dreams and the power of the daily choice, and how we are all affecting one another in big and small ways. I also appreciate a book that ends by celebrating the fact that life can be long and full of many wonderful things. There is never just “one perfect ending”.)

My gliding bench. My husband got this for my birthday in early June, and I’ve tried to grab a few early mornings before the baby wakes up to sit here, drink coffee, and write in my journal. I have it out in our backyard so that I can see the morning sky.

And that’s all for now!

Thank you for reading.

-Beth