Joy (Noun)

For a long time, I believed that ‘joy’ was a difficult emotion. In my mind, I connected ‘joy’ with moments of really intense feelings -- a deep recognition of my humanity, of something larger than myself, of the mystery of life. Joy brought up tears -- tears of gratitude, certainly, but tears nevertheless. While I liked these moments of deep gratitude, they were also somewhat draining.

For highly sensitive people (such as myself), I think there’s both a need to express our emotions openly and a fear of doing so: We pay an energetic price for our emotions; there’s a recovery period that follows any strong moment of joy or gratitude, despite the fact that these are positive states of being.

As I’ve  gotten older, my sensitivity to strong emotions has increased, and I’ve found myself avoiding things that make me feel deeply--make me feel ‘joy’, by one definition. I find myself avoiding certain music, films, or books because I know they’ll overwhelm me. And I end up feeling guilty because of this avoidance. I’m ignoring my own emotions, I tell myself. I’m missing out on the ‘joy’ that less sensitive people must be experiencing on a regular basis. I just need to be be tougher.

Lately, though, I’ve been changing my way of thinking. I’ve been redefining JOY.

What if JOY isn’t just about some overwhelming realization of our human condition?

What if JOY doesn’t demand we weep or fall to our knees?

What if joy is a smaller, stiller voice?

What if joy is...gentle?

If this were true, I think to myself, then I’d be able to experience joy daily. By the hour. I can get on board with this type of joy. And if I can find joy in a million different tiny moments, the accumulative effect will be this: A more joyful LIFE.

Here’s my new definition of Joy:

Joy (N): That which brings us gently towards our truest self.

So I’m going to begin here. I’m going to stop feeling guilty for not wanting to watch that heart-wrenching film. I’m going to stop feeling guilty for wanting to listen to showtunes instead of sad indie-rock. I’m going to read the books that I want to read, not those I think I should read. And I’m going to remember that this is NOT avoidance; this is acceptance of SELF. I’m going to do more things, more often, that bring me Joy.

I hope you’ll join me. (But by all means, if indie-rock is your jam, jam away.)

Over to you: What's your definition of joy? Leave a comment in the form below - I'd love to hear from you! 

Beth